


Melancholy

by FebruaryGemini



Series: Villains Being Humans (Or At Least One Of Them) [7]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Coping, Depression, F/M, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 03:01:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29021634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FebruaryGemini/pseuds/FebruaryGemini
Summary: comes in many forms.
Relationships: Delilah Briarwood/Sylas Briarwood
Series: Villains Being Humans (Or At Least One Of Them) [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1926493
Comments: 2





	1. Sylas

**Author's Note:**

> The ending's not great, but I couldn't have this be unposted anymore.

She has become despondent. She doesn’t sleep well, she hardly eats, she wanders the halls like one of the servants. I stopped her once. All I said was her name. She cried for the better part of five minutes. I didn’t know what to do, so I put her to bed.

It hurts me to see her like this. After everything she’s done, she should be happy.

I was in my study going over the estate’s defenses when I caught a glimpse of her in the doorway. She looked like a ghost. I was grateful to have her near me, but it was nerve-wracking to have her watch me like that. I didn’t dare acknowledge her, or even pause what I was doing, for fear the apparition would vanish.

I don’t know how long I pretended to work before she finally spoke. Her voice, barely a whisper, but my senses on such a high alert it seemed she’d spoken into my ear. “Sylas, I love you.”

That was the last straw. I dropped my pencil and crossed the room in three quick strides, gathering her into my arms before she could fade away, “don’t leave me.” I didn’t mean to speak, don’t know where the words came from, don’t know why I meant them as much as I did. She was here. Real, solid, alive, she wasn’t going anywhere.  _ Don’t _ leave me. Don’t fade away. Don’t waste away. Don’t be a ghost anymore. Don’t— Delilah, don’t leave.

Her confusion was written on her face when I finally looked down at her, but it faded into concern when her eyes met mine. “Have I hurt you?”

My fingers tangled in her unkempt hair of their own accord. “My love, please talk to me. What’s wrong? Why aren’t you yourself? You don’t sleep, you hardly eat, and you wander the halls without any purpose. You’re wasting away and I can’t stand it. Delilah, the light in your eyes has gone out.”

Her expression fell as I spoke, and a moment passed before she replied. “...nothing’s chasing us anymore. No one is telling us what to do or where to be. Thirteen years of planning, and working, and running, and fighting… Darling… it was worth it.  _ Please _ , don’t think it wasn’t worth it. I love you. I  _ love _ you. If I had to do it over again, I would. In a heartbeat. ...but please, don’t ask me to. ...my love, I don’t have the strength to stand anymore.”

I knew a little of what she was feeling. We’d been constantly busy for so long it was hard to settle down. I was restless. The defenses didn’t need to be gone over. We hardly needed defenses at all. We certainly didn’t need the elaborate scheme I’d been working on. But there was nothing else I could put my energy towards. Nothing demanded my attention anymore. Nothing besides my wife.

I picked her up into my arms and carried her to our room. “Darling, you were marvelous. You worked so hard and fought so bravely. No one can deny that you’ve earned your rest. I love you, my lady, and I will always be in your debt. Sleep, and I’ll be by your side when you wake.” She was asleep before I made it to the bed.

Then I closed the curtains so the light wouldn’t disturb her, and settled myself in the chair by the bed. I didn’t know if it had solved anything, but she slept more soundly than she had for several days.

I hoped it helped. God, if I couldn’t save her— if she didn’t return to herself soon— I found myself fighting tears. Seeing her as a ghost was just as bad, if not worse, than not seeing her at all. And I would give anything in the world not to live that year again.


	2. Delilah

I’ve never seen him this restless. It seems he’s always at the window when I wake in the night. He’s never eaten very much in the way of food, but now he finishes his breakfast before I’ve hardly started. He stopped me once, in the hall. The only thing he said was my name and I had a fit of hysteria. Looking back on it, I honestly couldn’t tell you why I cried.

I found him in his study working feverishly on something, but nothing needed to be done. It brought tears to my eyes. I couldn’t tell you how long I watched, waiting for him to do something, anything, else. He didn’t even notice I was there.

It hurt me to see him like this. After everything I’ve done, can’t he just be happy?

“Sylas, I love you.” It was barely a whisper. It had only just escaped. I wasn’t intending to speak, don’t know quite where it came from. Just know that I love you. Whatever you’re going through, however I can help, just know that I love you. More than anything.

He was wrapped around me when I took my next breath. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to how quickly he can move when he wants to. And his voice was hoarse in my ear when he whispered, “don’t leave me.”

Is that what he was worried about? Did he think it was possible for me to leave him? I felt my heart tremble, threatening to break, and I looked up at him hoping against hope that it wasn’t true. The pain that I saw in his eyes was worse than anything I could have been bracing for. What could have hurt him? Was it me? “Have I hurt you?”

His fingers buried themselves in my hair as he spoke. “My love, please talk to me. What’s wrong? Why aren’t you yourself? You don’t sleep, you hardly eat, and you wander the halls without any purpose. You’re wasting away and I can’t stand it. Delilah, the light in your eyes has gone out.”

I’m wasting away? That’s why he was agitated? He was worried about me? I suppose I might have been, but only because I was worried about him; and because I wasn’t sure what to do with myself now. I was running out of reasons to get up in the morning. “...nothing’s chasing us anymore. No one is telling us what to do or where to be. Thirteen years of planning, and working, and running, and fighting… Darling… it was worth it.  _ Please _ , don’t think it wasn’t worth it. I love you. I  _ love _ you. If I had to do it over again, I would. In a heartbeat. ...but please, don’t ask me to. ...my love, I don’t have the strength to stand anymore.”

He held me in silence for a moment, processing what I’d said, and then he lifted me into his arms and carried me down the hall. “Darling, you were marvelous. You worked so hard and fought so bravely. No one can deny that you’ve earned your rest. I love you, my lady, and I will always be in your debt. Sleep, and I’ll be by your side when you wake.”

His voice stole the tension from my shoulders. My eyes wouldn’t open after ‘rest’, and I didn’t hear anything after ‘sleep’. He’d be there when I awoke. He would always be there when I awoke. Our dying days were done. And everything would be right in the morning.


End file.
